A Seat at the Table

There is so much value to be had in fighting for your spot at the table and finding your voice in a strategic conversation. I had the pleasure of being able to sit at the table with a my department, the COO and the CEO every Friday to talk strategy. I was an idiot for taking it for granted for even a second. I learned so much about personalities, work styles, leadership styles, the reasoning behind decisions whether logical or not, how my leadership makes decisions, how much of their decision making is influence by their own biases. I figured out what it took to get them to say yes to an idea, and saw how easy it was for them to say no to even the greatest idea if it was presented poorly.

Now, I don't even know where the table is. In a larger company, it could takes years - even decades - to find a place at that table. I feel like the teen who got stuck at the kids table for Thanksgiving and will be there forever, pending a larger table or a family members absence - neither of which are in sight. 

So what do I do now? Do I kick and scream until they slide to the side to make room for me? If anything, it might just prove my placement at the kids table.

Instead, I plan to take an approach that has been trending lately in resume writing and job-finding (really since 2009, but even more so since Millennials hit the job scene hard in all of our innovative spirits) - I will identify the space that is empty, the gap that needs to be filled and argue that I am the only obvious choice to sit in that spot at the table.

But how?! Well I haven't done it yet, but I'll tell you how I'm going to start:

1) Identify the other members at the table that would and could advocate for my placement there.

2) Gather intel from resources in #1: how are the meetings are run, what's talked about, who's involved, what kind of decisions are being made, do they find the meeting effective, do they come away with action items to be delegated to me. 

At this point, I might discover that I have no place at the table and then I need to figure out if it would make sense for learning purposes to be involved in a limited way - for example is the table is really a conference call, I would see if it would be worth it to listen in but maybe not necessarily participate. If even that is not necessary, maybe it's time for me to find a different table.

After all the information is gathered, I can build my case and present it to my advocates. From there, I will ask for their opinions, feedback and see if it's something 1) They can take to the decision maker and advocate for, 2) I need to take to the decision maker, and use them as references if necessary, or 3) It's time to give up the fight. 

No matter what happens, when I do finally get a seat at the table, I will know that I earned the right to be there and can speak with confidence. 

_____

Update: Executed perfectly on plan. Got some great feedback, felt like my voice was heard and I have some great advocates. Still... time to find a different table.

It's that #EntryLevelLifeStruggle

The Emergency Contact Test

A couple of weeks ago I found this Ted Talk gem and shared it on Facebook. I would highly encourage everyone to watch it because at some point they will either be a 20-something or come into contact with a 20-something.

Around the 8 minute mark Meg introduces Emma and the moment Emma realizes she can't fill in the blank after "In case of an emergency contact ..." A couple of weeks ago I got so sick I had to drive myself to the emergency room twice in excruciating pain. The last time I was that sick was probably when I was in 5th grade. My mom was there for me, drove me to the hospital, argued with the physician to get the right solution, brought me soup, took care of me.

Now, it's just me. I couldn't bring myself to bug my geographically closest friend to come help me because we're not that close. As a dedicated introvert (with most likely social anxiety), it took me being sick for two weeks and in isolation for four days to realize the second I was better, I just needed to find my emergency contacts in the world and to help them find me.

In my effort to pursue my "Get Better Challenge" I've been discovering how many other 20-somethings are doing their best to get better in the area of making true friends, not just the ones you call to grab a drink after work. I've been to three Meetups and started attending a Young Adults group at a church by my work. In going around the circle introducing ourselves and stating our purpose for joining the young adults group the resounding reason was "to make friends with shared values."

I'm starting to realize the assumed embarrassment from lacking friendships that are consistent, present and deep, kept me from the one thing I wanted. I thought everyone else somehow mastered this post-college friendship thing, when in reality, that is far from the truth.

So many of us 20-somethings are still moving, shifting, trying new jobs, new geography, new relationships (or at least getting away from the old ones). It's almost silly to assume that not every single one of us would be more than happy to find an emergency contact who can meet for drinks after work, but also sit down for coffee and talk about real issues and struggles, someone who would come give us a jump when our car breaks down, someone to drive us to the emergency room when we are sick.

The hard part is the how. So here are my tips from experience on Entry-Level Emergency-Contact Creating:

• Start somewhere, anywhere: I mentioned Meetup and a Young Adults group, there are so many more options, just try something! Anything!
• Be patient: Emergency-contact status friendships take time and in a group of 15 people you might find 1 and the other 14 you'll call to grab dinner on a Friday night. You might not realize who the 1 person is until you spend a significant amount of time on it.
• Show up/Be accountable: Being a flake won't help you make friends. Living in the Maybe RSVP culture is killing our abilities to find a ride to the hospital at 3am. Agree to try new things, go with the group, and when someone wants to do something they will know to call you because they will know you will show up.
• Contribute: It's not enough to find your emergency contact, you need to be their emergency contact too. As millennials we love the brands and products that "add value" to us beyond what's expected. I don't follow company pages because I love to see their Annual Reports, I follow them because they have fun videos with cool tips that are actually useful. Be useful, add value, ask questions and actually listen!

God calls us to live vertically with Him and horizontally with others. How can we do that if we can't even hold a deeper conversation about real life with other people?

[Check out some of the newly updated links on my Resources page!]

How To: Get Better

I've been struggling as many of us entry-levelers do with figuring out what happens outside of 8-5 when your friends have moved away or maybe you're the one that moved away and are now faced with building up your life because you can't keep driving 2 hours to see family or friends every other weekend. 

So, in only the way that I could, I have devised a plan and I invite you to give it a try with me. There are two parts to it: person and social development. For the purposes of this experiment, I will be using the MeetUp and YouTube in conjunction with Spoon University and Pinterest for ideas. Here's how it plays out:

_________

Part 1: Personal Development Plan: The How-Tube Challenge

Each week I will watch 1-2 videos on YouTube to learn a new skill, how to cook, how to bake, how to craft, how to make friends, etc, and I will implement/test/try/perfect these skills over the next few weeks. Some of these ideas have been generated from Pinterest, cooking/baking has come from Spoon University, and the rest are just weird things I find on YouTube.

Side note: My boyfriend and I tried this 2 weekends ago and at the end we felt like cooking/crafting geniuses and it was a ball of fun, we plan on trying more in the weeks to come. Here are some attempted and proposed ideas for about 2 months of activity:

How to...

• Make a craft: Oil candle with left over cooking oil (tried and almost won, still making adjustments)
• Cook: Bacon-wrapped, cheese-stuff biscuits (tried, need to perfect with some minor tweaks - must try again!)
• Paint: Finally bought a basic starter paint set!
• Meditate
• Start a conversation
• Network
• Budget for a Trip 
• Bake: Narrowing down my options on Pinterest is impossible
• Wrap a gift
• Style Hair
• Build A Shelf: we are preparing to build and paint a crate shelf - I'm so excited and I feel so trendy!
• Organize: Closet, room, car, desk? I can't decide.
• Use Gmail Inbox: Personal Goal - It's so scary looking!
• Host a Party

Any suggestions? Comments are encouraged!

Part 2: Social Development Plan: Meet Up, Make Friends

I've joined Meet Up and added 3-4 different types of groups - social, volunteer, activity, personal development. Each week I'll log on, check the calendar of possible upcoming events and pick one to attend.

________

In the end, I want to have a better understanding of who I am, what I like to do and what my strengths are so that I can move away from self-centered to other-centered without losing myself while bringing added value to those around me. Not to mention, being isolated or stuck in one area of life means that God is put in a box of using you in only that area, and while he can still do amazing things, how much more could he do if you're really trying to seek out where God is working, where he needs you most, and how God might use your gifts to bring other to Christ. 

What will you do today to make yourself better to then make others better?

A Lesson on Patience: The Newest Diet Fad

In a world of instant gratification, one of the hardest lessons to learn (and to keep learning) for me is patience. This morning my daily planner, which is themed after the book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, had this quote:

"We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily difference we can make which, over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee." ~Marian Wright Edelman

This is a hard concept worth grasping but makes the whole patience thing a lot more tolerable and a lot less painful. I first experienced this principle about two year ago when I finally decided to change my mind about losing weight and being healthy.

It was a 10 second clip I overheard on the TV one morning when listening to a health segment on a talk show - something I almost never do! The health expert explained that when first starting out to get healthy more often then not people go balls-to-the-wall getting in the gym and going on a fad diet - literally shocking their system into becoming a health nut. The problem is, that doesn't work! 

Our minds are very powerful and after one or two balls-to-the-wall sessions you start to think a certain way:

• This is too hard to maintain
• I'm not seeing any results yet/This isn't working
• It was a lot easier to not do anything and ignore the body shaming or negative self image talk

And then in a few months/weeks/days it's back to the couch.

The health expert suggested a simple solution: just do what you can, when you can and eventually a little will turn into a little more and then a lot! (This is all my translation, if you didn't catch that).

So two years ago I paid $10 to join a small gym, hopped on the treadmill and walked as fast as was comfortable for 25 minutes and then left. For the longest time I thought you had to spend at least an hour in the gym 5 days a week to be healthy, but after 3 months of going to the gym for 25 minutes a day for 3 days and pushing myself to walk a little faster than the day before, I started losing weight. It wasn't extremely difficult to add an extra 40 minutes into my day (with travel) to get in more than 0 minutes of working out, because that's what I was doing before. 

In that time I gave up my first love, television. I realized I would get sucked in to watching 2-3 hours of prime time TV on a nightly basis and for me I couldn't just watch one episode. Now I could fill that time with more active activities like cooking, playing outside, going for walks, anything! And the 40 minutes I spent getting exercise felt like chump change in my day.

After the exercise went from foreign to habit, I started focusing in on my diet which had not changed at all during the added exercise except for adding more water and craving less salt during which I still lost weight!

So I introduced vegetables into my diet in the form of green smoothies which helped acclimate my taste buds to veggies and I soon started valuing them far and above what I had before. I very, very slowly cut back on my portion sizes in a way that I almost didn't feel the difference from one day to the next. After some time I cut out fast food and minimized my juice/soda intake (coffee was off limits!).

This whole process was slow, spanning over a year and a half, only making one small adjustment at a time and letting my body acclimate to it's new lifestyle - and that's just what I did. I didn't decide to lose weight or get fit. I decided to live healthy and if it took 5 years to get healthy, I would still have the rest of my life to be healthy and that was good enough for me.

Through a lot of personal transition I lost some of my focus on living this healthy lifestyle, but I'm still 50 pounds lighter than what I weighed at my heaviest. I'm no longer afraid of the gym or vegetables. I cut back on ice cream in favor of chocolate. I still keep fast food to a minimum and I love my green smoothies. 

I am two years closer to feeling the success of a healthy lifestyle for the rest of my life and I'm working on applying the principles I learned in having patience through getting healthy to my financial situation, my career goals and contributing to making this world a better place.

For you entry-levelers it may seem impossible to reach your career goals or even life goals, but if you start with one step today, you'll be miles ahead in no time. Each day counts and when your patience is wearing thin, remember to do just one thing to move you one step closer to your greater goal. 

Starting Over: Entry-Leveling Again

So much for that Resurrection post. Here I am again, starting over again. I'm used to it by now - starting over that is. 

You may or may not know that I was engaged and as of 4 very long months ago (to the date) am no longer engaged. I still have people asking when am I getting married. It's like being asked - what's your biggest failure in life less than 6 months after it happened - it still stings a little. 

But failure, this was not. It stings like failure, yes, but this was a victory. I found myself in the toughest position I had ever put myself in and God pulled me out. No one, not even myself can take credit for the events that have taken place over the last 4 months. With his grace and gentleness, I swallowed my pride and let the fear of God and his awesome wonder-working power lead me, and not my fear of others. 

It was painful, awkward, embarrassing. It was nothing I had ever experienced before or hope to experience again. But God sharpened me and at the same time was so gentle, showing me the areas of my brokenness that needed to be surrendered to him while surrounding me with those who truly loved me. 

God's power displayed through this season was awe-inspiring. It was the same power that he has to make his will come to life, the power he has to use the weak and powerless for his divine purposes, that showed me the endless possibilities of my life, if I just surrendered it to him. 

I'm so grateful. The healing process continues and I can't wait to see what God has for me next. He started with a new job in a new place - very funny God! I'm enjoying being stretched in my new position and experiencing new things. I'm entry-leveling again! The dramatic changes in four months is hard to manage, but God is walking beside me, always speaking softly, nudging me on.

The verse I picked when I was baptized at the ripe age of 8(ish) has carried me through my life. It is my anthem and now the extended passage is my decree: 

"Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path. I have taken an oath and confirmed it, that I will follow your righteous laws. I have suffered much; preserve my life, Lord, according to your word. Accept, Lord, the willing praise of my mouth, and teach me your laws. Though I constantly take my life in my hands, I will not forget your law. The wicked have set a snare for me, but I have not strayed from your precepts. Your statutes are my heritage forever; they are the joy of my heart. My heart is set on keeping your decrees to the very end."

Psalm 119:105-112 NIV 

Look forward to more entry-level life posts in the near future (nearer than 2-3 months this time).

Resurrection

Wow! It has been a very long time since I've posted anything. How tragic. I write all the time for my job so it's no wonder that I haven't had any urge at all to "put pen to paper" and write for myself. It's time to resurrect this bad boy and get moving again.

Yes, it has been almost two years since I've graduated college but I promise you there are still so many lessons to share and entry-level doesn't go away with time. If you go through life and learn nothing and process nothing you'll be an entry-leveler forever.

Turns out I'm a verbal processor and by verbal I also mean a writing processor. So I've been sitting on all these thoughts and observations and I'm afraid I've been at my entry-level position because I just can't climb the hurdle that is my mind. "Get out of the way self!"

This is the resurrection of my blog and it's coming back with vengeance - taking down all your preconceived notions about the lameness that is an entry-level life. Entry-level life is the best! You can make a ton of mistakes, learn how to fail and fail hard, apologize, recognize and be stronger than ever. You can do things that would get most people in trouble but because you didn't know you couldn't do that, something AMAZING happened!

Be fearless my fellow entry-levelers. Own your entry-levelness. Be a learner, be coachable. Crave mentorship and wisdom.

Life will get you down no matter where you are in your career, but God is faithful and he will surround you with the people that you need to #LevelUp.

Okay, this was a good talk. Let's reconvene soon. I've got lots to catch you all up on.

P.S. I noticed my resume is pretty old by now, but I would still encourage you to reference it for entry-level position.